being an earthen vessel

She stood at the bottom of the stairs, staring up into the dimness. The top was so far away. Outside, the rain softly fell against the glass of the window, and the slightly opened pane allowed a few drops to fall in to the polished hardwood floor. The cream drapes swayed in the gentle breeze, and the scent of the outdoors escaped from the flowing fabric to where she stood. She closed her eyes.
"I'm supposed to be here," she whispered, alone. "It's going to be okay."

Sometimes, I just never understand life. I feel like Alice in Wonderland, watching the Walrus and the Carpenter walk along the beach with the baby clams. The nonsense of it all - why doesn't anything just make sense? And somehow, you're supposed to know that where you are, what you're doing, is a part of a plan and that it's all for good. And then life turns upside down; the Walrus eats all the clams and you're left sitting on an empty beach, wondering why things happen the way they do and what you're supposed to do about it.

I am slowly learning that to understand life is futile - but that to understand God is worth all efforts. Though I know I will never understand Him fully, I know that He wants me to look to Him because He sees the end from the beginning. The puzzle pieces are already put in place - I just have to wait to be given them at the right time. He is the grand designer of my life. I don't have to understand it all, but I have to rest in the fact that He has set my course, and guides each step I take. Each step will lead me closer Home, to where He will one day say, "Well done."

The last chapter in John ends with Christ speaking to His disciples and Peter asks Him about the man who will betray Christ. Peter is worried about the potential evil that lurks in the future (sound familiar?), and Christ gives such a beautiful response. He says, "If it is my will that he [who should betray Jesus] remain until I come, what is that to you? Follow me!" What is it if anything bad happens, if anything good happens... what is that to me? I have been commanded to follow Christ.

The last verse in John says, "Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.
The world cannot contain the things that Christ did, on earth alone. Imagine how it would fill the earth over, knowing the things that Christ has ever done, not only in His time on earth, but also through all of history and before! His eternal love for me fills my heart more than anything else ever could. What He has done for me is what's preeminently important, and following Him is the one response He desires from me.

I will follow;I will wait for each puzzle piece as He chooses to give or take away. What is that to me? For I simply follow..