when I am weak

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Cor. 12:10


God has the neatest ways of showing Himself in our lives. We humans tend to think we're invincible, that we can do anything "if we put our minds to it." But when hardships come along, we fall apart in our own false sense of strength. Thankfully, it's in those times that God shows us Himself when we are most hurt and struck down. He reveals when we are no longer looking at ourselves as the object of greatness that He has all the strength we need when we abide in Him.

Paul had a weakness. He was probably the greatest evangelist the world had ever seen - he had come out of a life of rebellion against God, and lived and proclaimed the Gospel with an intense fervor I could only hope to emulate in my own life. He went to the Jew, the Greek, the learned and unlearned - his life was about sharing Christ. He had seen triumphs, he had seen failures, faithfulness and betrayal. He understood hardship, and he understood abundance. Paul lived an extraordinary life, by any human standard. But he had a weakness, something that hindered him from reaching what he thought could be his full potential for Christ.

God saw fit to leave this weakness with Paul. It was clear that God had allowed this into Paul's life and it was there to stay. Although Paul may never have understood why this conflict never left his body, he was able to rest in God's sovereign wisdom and perfect way. Paul understood that to be used through weakness was to magnify God's power all the more. It put his life's emphasis on His Master and not him. Paul had plenty to boast about in his own life - but he would rather boast about his great Saviour. Paul was still human, and God gave him an "infirmity" to remind him, as well as others, that the focus was to always be on his True Source of strength. Paul then was at peace with God's plan for His life, even though it included lifelong hardship. He knew that God would make His glory shine through whatever He brought into Paul's life, and so Paul was able to pen "...therefore I will rather boast in my weakness ... for when I am weak, then am I strong."

Paul saw God in his pain. He understood Isaiah 55 when the author wrote, "For your ways are not my ways, neither are your thoughts my thoughts, declares the Lord." Although Paul was never given more reason than "my grace is sufficient," that was reason enough. God's grace is sufficient, even when our human minds do not understand the ways in which He chooses to work in us. He sees the end from the beginning, knows what is best for His purposes, and gives us the grace to live and thrive along the path He planned for us.

God is always good, and His strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore may I glory in Him and not myself, for when I am weak, then am I strong.


The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, and He delights in his way.
Psalm 37:23

getting out of the way

"[this is] the confidence that we have through Christ toward God - - not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God."

To borrow the old cliche, God works in mysterious ways. This is a hard one for me to write, because I have been struggling with this as I consider and involve myself in ministry and my own daily living. How often I have thought, "I'm doing pretty good - I'm doing all the right things. People are responding, things are happening, this is good. I'm doing good." I measured my successes against my own personal opinions of what I thought was "good enough" or even great. And then, God smacked me. Over a period of almost a year, God has had to give me a reality check and put me in my place - He had to push me out of my own way.

I was so self-focused in my life, my abilities, my ambitions and my impressions that I left no room for my God. He had to take all those things away, take me away from myself so that I could get to know HIM again, so that I could see Him. I was on my way, making my decisions about my life, and in my time - and then He did what I never thought would happen. He changed my life so drastically that I couldn't help but change. If I didn't, I would become bitter - an unsavoury taste in my Saviour's mouth.

Taking me out of the spotlight gave God room to show me what I needed to change and re-aquire my complete dependence to be fit for His service. He took me off to the side so that He could talk with me, commune and correct me so that I could understand best the way His child should walk. I was truly humbled by this experience, and as overcome with sadness at the realization of hurting my Heavenly Father I was, I was even more overcome with His grace and longsuffering and love. Even though I chose my own way for a while, He took my hand and placed it in His so that I could walk with Him. How honoured I am to be a part of His family - I have a relationship with the Most High! Shame on me for ever forgetting that.

Now, with my course set straight, and my Father by my side, I will choose God's way. Whether it be marking lessons and licking envelopes, washing dishes for a church member who can't get around, or bringing souls to Christ's arms in Africa, I choose HIM. I will get out of the way, and let Him lead.

2 Cor. 3:3-6

being an earthen vessel

She stood at the bottom of the stairs, staring up into the dimness. The top was so far away. Outside, the rain softly fell against the glass of the window, and the slightly opened pane allowed a few drops to fall in to the polished hardwood floor. The cream drapes swayed in the gentle breeze, and the scent of the outdoors escaped from the flowing fabric to where she stood. She closed her eyes.
"I'm supposed to be here," she whispered, alone. "It's going to be okay."

Sometimes, I just never understand life. I feel like Alice in Wonderland, watching the Walrus and the Carpenter walk along the beach with the baby clams. The nonsense of it all - why doesn't anything just make sense? And somehow, you're supposed to know that where you are, what you're doing, is a part of a plan and that it's all for good. And then life turns upside down; the Walrus eats all the clams and you're left sitting on an empty beach, wondering why things happen the way they do and what you're supposed to do about it.

I am slowly learning that to understand life is futile - but that to understand God is worth all efforts. Though I know I will never understand Him fully, I know that He wants me to look to Him because He sees the end from the beginning. The puzzle pieces are already put in place - I just have to wait to be given them at the right time. He is the grand designer of my life. I don't have to understand it all, but I have to rest in the fact that He has set my course, and guides each step I take. Each step will lead me closer Home, to where He will one day say, "Well done."

The last chapter in John ends with Christ speaking to His disciples and Peter asks Him about the man who will betray Christ. Peter is worried about the potential evil that lurks in the future (sound familiar?), and Christ gives such a beautiful response. He says, "If it is my will that he [who should betray Jesus] remain until I come, what is that to you? Follow me!" What is it if anything bad happens, if anything good happens... what is that to me? I have been commanded to follow Christ.

The last verse in John says, "Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.
The world cannot contain the things that Christ did, on earth alone. Imagine how it would fill the earth over, knowing the things that Christ has ever done, not only in His time on earth, but also through all of history and before! His eternal love for me fills my heart more than anything else ever could. What He has done for me is what's preeminently important, and following Him is the one response He desires from me.

I will follow;I will wait for each puzzle piece as He chooses to give or take away. What is that to me? For I simply follow..