Hmm

I'm just sitting here tonight, catching up and even getting a little ahead on some of my homework. I had one of the most stressful weeks ever since I started this semester, and I was just really down and discouraged. Homework not getting done, being away from home at Thanksgiving, the Pillsbury bubble, it all got me looking at my situation around me instead of looking upward, and it really sent me down. I felt so uneffective, so unspiritual, and so drained in every way. Last night, however, God just really picked me up from my mirey clay, and set my feet back on the Almighty Rock, my Jesus. I had such an encouraging talk with a couple of friends after work last night. We stayed out past one in the morning just talking about God and about dreams and about our futures, and about walking with Jesus. I think I had kinda lost sight of the fact that Jesus actually walks WITH me... not just God up in Heaven looking down on me, but God in Jesus taking me by the hand right where I am and saying, "come on, Sarah - let's do this together." How powerful is that?
So since I've had this wake-up call, I've been a lot more relaxed.. God will take care of me, in everything, because He's right here! He's involved in my life! He's leading me into great things - I just have to take His hand, lean into Him, and say, "Okay, Lord, take the lead. I'm ready to follow." How cool is that? Amen to that, I say!

Here's my friend's philosophy, and I think I'm going to use it:
1) Love God surpremely
2) Do right
3) Have a blast!


I think that about says it all..

Sarah

Thanksgiving

So..this is my first Thanksgiving away from home. Actually, I thought Thanksgiving was next weekend, so when I talked to my mom on the phone yesterday morning and found out, I was pretty surprised - I hadn't planned on being depressed about it yet! But it came alot sooner than I expected, and it kinda really sucks. It's bad enough being away from family, but being in another country that doesn't even care that you have Thanksgiving back home makes it even harder. But it's okay... it could be worse!

It was an alright day; it kinda started out pretty lame when I missed my ride to church, but then I got to go to another church with some good friends, and I kinda enjoyed doing the different atmosphere thing, enjoying a different church, and I got to do it with a bunch of friends so that was cool.

Then we came back to school, and ate lunch, and then I went to my room, cleaned up a whole ton (like crazy stuff - I rearranged my shoes, arranged my closet clothes and refolded all my clothes in my drawer - yes I was a little depressed! haha), and then made the mistake of looking at the letters my family sent in the care package I got a couple days ago. I definitely let myself cry, but only for a couple of seconds. Then I put a load of laundry in, put on my most comfy sweater, basketball shorts, and took an hour long nap. Then got up to check my mail and ended up talking to Melanie, Janaine's mom for like 2 hours. It was good.. she made me laugh alot and then I felt a little better. Then I got my laundry, folded it and called up my only other Canadian buddy on campus.

We talked on the phone for like an hour, talking about home and Canada and Tim Hortons of course, and wondered for a long time how we were going to get to eat out, because we can't go off campus with just the two of us. Finally, good old Jon Greenacre got back from work, and we offered to pay for his meal if he would go with us, and what college kid in their right mind turns down a free meal? So we headed off to Perkins. I ordered the turkey dinner. *tear* I was pretty sad when it came out, because it tasted pretty good, and it reminded me of home so much. But Stephen and Jon got talking about lots of stuff, and they made me feel a lot better, and we just had a really good time sitting there eating and having good conversation. I really felt a lot better by the time we left (except for my stomach.. I stuffed it tonite! I had a turkey dinner AND pie!) Then we went to Walmart to walk it off a bit, and Jon let me drive his car back to the school when we left (it's a stick shift, so it was great.)

Now I'm back at school, and I just want to catch up on a bit of reading, and go to bed early and get ready for tomorrow and not even think about it being Thanskgiving. I celebrated it (well as much as I could being depressed) today, and I got most of it out of my system, so I think I will be okay now.

Sometimes I dont like growing up very much...

Sarah

ps. the pic i have to thank from this guy - www.flickr.com/photos/miir
amazing photos!

Sunday!

So today was pretty much awesome. God really convicted me about being stuck in my own comfort zone here at school, and taking a back seat and letting others lead. I wasn't really asked to lead here, so I just stepped back and let those who stuck out more lead. I got lazy, pretty much. I got a fairly apathetic outlook on campus life and stepped away from the leadership role God had been cultivating in me all those years of growing up. I feel like I've taken so many steps backwards coming here, as far as being a leader and being challenged and working out my faith. It's so embarrassing to admit, but it's true.

God continually amazes me. He has just so gripped my heart that I couldn't not respond, and yet it was so gentle and soft, almost like a whisper. I had been ignoring that whisper for a while, but when I heard it again this time, it was so powerful. Amazing how such a still small voice can do so much to you! And it's amazing that the God whose voice breaks the cedars and trembles the entire earth, used a whisper to get my attention. It was so clear, too . . . it was just like, "Sarah, you're done sitting on the bleachers, watching others lead. I made you to be a leader, now lead. We'll do it together, don't worry, but you just need to follow me, and that means getting motivated to serve me in whatever way I see fit", and I said, "okay, Lord, I'm listening! Do what you will.. I'm following." I don't know how God is going to use me, but I'm here and willing.. scared to death, but I do it in His strength, and He is Almighty God, who has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind! (2 Tim 1:7)

I am so glad God is patient with us. His grace is overwhelming. Now may I bestow the same kind of grace on others, before I go judging them or getting frustrated with them. My focus needs to be on my Saviour, and whao He would want me to be, and what He wants me to do.

It's all about Him!

Sarah